Can you proffread my essay on how the media effects teen body image?

<< I dont know how to deal with my family and life anymore? I want to run away?  I won a class action law suit settlement for a drug that was linked to my diabetes.? >>

Claire

Some people think that media has nothing to do with teen body image and the way people look at themselves. The thing they don’t realize is teens have eating disorders because of what the media portrays as beautiful. Teens want to be accepted so they don’t act like themselves or look like themselves. Sometimes a teen could start to do drugs and smoke because of how dissatisfied they are with there bodies. The media definitely has an effect on how teens think of themselves and how they handle situations.

The media makes teens think they are not the average weight they are supposed to be because they see the beautiful models and want to look like them so they start to not eat normally which leads to an eating disorder. Eating disorders can harm teen’s body in ways you cannot imagine teens could end up with type 2 diabetes, ruined teeth, ruined esophagus, and become very depressed. Over 54 percent of girls, teens, and women ages 12-23 years are unhappy with their bodies. Approximately 75% of girls as young as nine years old have dieted 2 to 5 times a year. A survey was also taken at a high school and 1/3 of the students thought they were overweight when they were not. Between “5-10 million girls and women and 1 million boys and men are struggling with eating disorders including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or borderline condition” Teens can feel like they don’t belong when they see these beautiful models. They look at the models and say “I wish I could be them” I think they just want to get some attention rather than being the same person they are everyday.
Teens are looking for acceptance in the society around them so they look and dress like people they are not. They will mimic the look of celebrities because that is the way the media portrays the way they should dress. Being yourself is more important than anything in the world so why be someone your not. If all you trying to do is climb up the social ladder be yourself doing it, people will like you for who you are not what you pretend to be. Teens don’t act like themselves they might end up doing something they will regret.
Teens have probably seen a model on Americas Next Top Model smoke to get thin or relieve stress. Teenage girls might pick up those habits and use them to get thin. Smoking is a very bad habit hard to break and could damage your lungs and you could get cancer so teens are harmed if they pick up that cigarette because they think it will help them become skinnier. Guys might not think they are tone enough when they pick up a wrestling magazine or watch wrestling on TV so they might start to take steroids to become more muscular. Doing steroids stops the natural hormone production and that is harmful for anyone’s body. If teens thinking smoking and doing drugs will make them look better, they better think again.
Teens treat there body in bad ways because the media says it is beautiful. Today’s teens don’t treat there bodies well because they have abnormal eating behavior, they pretend to be people they are not, and do things they would normally never do. If teens think they are beautiful because the media says they are they are wrong because everyone sees beauty in a different way and they are attracted to different things so who is really deciding these things for our society?
Research Topic: What effect do advertisements, magazines, television, and movies have on teen body image today?

Essay Requirements: Write a five-paragraph informative Essay on this topic.

Your first paragraph should be an introduction. It should introduce your topic and state the three pain points you will be making to support your ideas. The last sentence of that paragraph should be your thesis statement (the opinion statement you will be trying to prove throughout the essay).

The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th paragraphs should be the body. Each of these paragraphs should prove one point in support of your thesis. Make sure you have supporting facts to prove your points, and make sure you use transitions to take the reader from one paragraph to the next.

The 5th paragraph should be the conclusion. It should restate your thesis and three main points (using different words). The last sentence of this paragraph should bring your essay to a close in a memorable way.
they are breaken up you cant tell though because there wasnt enough room so they got smashed toghter
whats cite??

 
Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Google
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • TwitThis
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • Pownce
  • MySpace
StumbleUpon It!

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Articulos relacionados

    No related posts

2 Responses to “Can you proffread my essay on how the media effects teen body image?”

  1. 1
    rae Says:

    Your ideas are sound. I would suggest reading this out loud to yourself so you can hear the grammar the way you have it written. Even better, have someone read it out loud to you.

    also, if it's an essay for school, I wouldn't use contractions — i.e., don't use *don't* use 'do not' or 'does not', etc… do you need to cite your info??

    watch your spelling … i.e. there (a place or state of being) and their (showing ownship to someone or something).

  2. 2
    weemaryanne again AM Says:

    No. Proofreading is a good skill to acquire, but you won't acquire it by getting someone else to do it for you.

    I will give you a hint: Those long paragraphs should be split into two or three shorter ones.

Leave a Reply

Designed by Posicionamiento Web | Sponsored by Ganar dinero